Why is Batman considered a superhero?
Seriously, the guy is the textbook definition of a menace to society, yet for some reason most people unquestioningly echo the ridiculous idea that what he does is in some way heroic.
Bruce Wayne represents the worst that modern western civilization has to offer: he is a trust-fund tycoon who inherited a fortune of billions of dollars, he lives in a gated mansion that overlooks the dystopian urban nightmare that is Gotham City, and the way that he goes about assisting the city in its doomed efforts to overcome its problems is by dressing up in an overpriced Halloween costume and punching the shit out of people.
In short, Batman has always been a complete moron, and that was before he was portrayed by Ben Affleck.
Here is the wealthiest man in the greater Gotham City area, a man so rich that he offers to purchase a luxury hotel rather than tell the overpriced prostitutes with him to keep their fucking clothes on while swimming at a public gathering, and instead of spear-heading progressive social movements or, you know, working with city government on improving the social services they offer to their impoverished and fearful residents, he decides instead to have one of his lackeys engineer a grappling-hook gun and fashion throwing stars in the shapes of bats so that he can bravely confront the problem of petty street crime.
I will never watch Batman vs. Superman for one simple reason: it is an insultingly stupid conceit. Batman vs. Superman, in a rational setting, is not a fight in any real sense of the word. Superman is an omnipotent alien creature who can fly, leap over buildings in a single bound, can see through walls, and can burn the shit out of things by shooting lasers from his fucking eyes. Batman likes to play with sharp toys that are all in the shape of a bat and kung-fu defenseless victims to death. Bruce Wayne's obsession with bats is really the same thing that my four-year-old daughter is going through with My Little Pony: she also feels the need to wear her My Little Pony shirt everywhere she goes, only it's more or less acceptable because, you know, she's four fucking years old.
In summary, fuck Batman. He is, to appropriate a Scottish insult for my own use, a cocksplat.
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Sunday, June 26, 2016
If the Shoe Fits...
I keep reading that Trump supporters are terribly offended at being labelled "racists."
Fair enough. I am glad that being labelled a "racist" is something that even Trump supporters have the decency to find offensive. So here: I acknowledge that it is possible that not all Trump supporters are overt bigots. On the other hand, I find it beyond comprehension that someone who is not a bigot is willing to vote for a man who is a racist, bigoted xenophobe.
The company you keep and the causes you support say a lot about you as a person. Supporting Trump says that you are tolerant of an intolerant man. You are supporting somebody who insists on saying horribly racist things. This does, I think, make you a racist. Period.
If that makes you uncomfortable or upset, then so be it. The truth hurts sometimes.
Fair enough. I am glad that being labelled a "racist" is something that even Trump supporters have the decency to find offensive. So here: I acknowledge that it is possible that not all Trump supporters are overt bigots. On the other hand, I find it beyond comprehension that someone who is not a bigot is willing to vote for a man who is a racist, bigoted xenophobe.
The company you keep and the causes you support say a lot about you as a person. Supporting Trump says that you are tolerant of an intolerant man. You are supporting somebody who insists on saying horribly racist things. This does, I think, make you a racist. Period.
If that makes you uncomfortable or upset, then so be it. The truth hurts sometimes.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Parallel Worlds
As a child of a two parent household, I know that I have been traumatized by walking in on my parents while they were having sex. This made me wonder: do children of single parent households have traumatic memories of walking on their parent masturbating?
The Price of Gold
I heard something brilliant on the radio yesterday. A financial analyst, speaking about the Brexit said, "When the price of gold goes up, it usually means that human beings have done something stupid."
Friday, June 24, 2016
Fear Itself
The United Kingdom is the latest casualty in the escalating series of right-wing fear-mongering now occurring all over the world. Right-wing politicians told brazen lies, drummed up fears of dark-skinned others coming to take British jobs, and spun a fantastic and false tale of the declining sovereignty of the UK in the face of unelected Eurozone bureaucrats. And parts of the commonwealth swallowed the tripe whole and voted to leave the EU, blithely believing that, somehow, someway, everything will be even better than before, because to hell with all of your fancy numbers and facts.
Now that the UK has voted to leave Europe, Scotland will almost certainly vote to leave the UK. Thus the legacy of the twenty-first century conservatives in England will be the dismantling of the UK and the breakup with Europe. It is, in short, a legacy of fear, of ignorance, and of small-minded bigotry in the face of a future that could have been a lot brighter and more inclusive.
Well done, Tories. This serves as a reminder that conservative ideas and ideals are dangerous no matter their country of origin. Conservative ideals result in isolation, recession, nativism, and war. This is the endgame here. Don't be fooled.
P.S. And one more thing... Don't tell me that it's not racism at it's most basic that drives the supporters of Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Marine LePen, and other right-wing hate-pimps around the world. Don't tell me that it's really economic angst or anxiety about a changing world or legitimate fears concerning immigration. The people who support these awful con artists are ignorant racists. Period. Full stop. They are motivated by hatred and fear of people who are darker than they are.
People tell me that I'm supposed to feel sympathy for them, but I cannot. I cannot feel sympathy for human beings who turn to their basest instincts when they feel fear. I do not sympathize with people who are violent, ignorant, and hateful. I do not care what their reasons are. There is no excuse to discriminate against human beings on the artificial basis of race. None.
Now that the UK has voted to leave Europe, Scotland will almost certainly vote to leave the UK. Thus the legacy of the twenty-first century conservatives in England will be the dismantling of the UK and the breakup with Europe. It is, in short, a legacy of fear, of ignorance, and of small-minded bigotry in the face of a future that could have been a lot brighter and more inclusive.
Well done, Tories. This serves as a reminder that conservative ideas and ideals are dangerous no matter their country of origin. Conservative ideals result in isolation, recession, nativism, and war. This is the endgame here. Don't be fooled.
P.S. And one more thing... Don't tell me that it's not racism at it's most basic that drives the supporters of Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Marine LePen, and other right-wing hate-pimps around the world. Don't tell me that it's really economic angst or anxiety about a changing world or legitimate fears concerning immigration. The people who support these awful con artists are ignorant racists. Period. Full stop. They are motivated by hatred and fear of people who are darker than they are.
People tell me that I'm supposed to feel sympathy for them, but I cannot. I cannot feel sympathy for human beings who turn to their basest instincts when they feel fear. I do not sympathize with people who are violent, ignorant, and hateful. I do not care what their reasons are. There is no excuse to discriminate against human beings on the artificial basis of race. None.
On Mediocrity
Abigail Fisher, the detestable embodiment of white privilege, lost her ridiculous lawsuit against the University of Texas admissions program yesterday. Fisher, an underachiever who apparently believed that her white skin entitled her to access to a university to which she didn't qualify academically, had sued UT, claiming that its system of admissions was somehow unfair to her and other white underachievers who were unable to meet admissions standards.
Fisher, as is well-documented, possessed neither the test scores nor the grades to earn admission to UT, but she was undeterred by this obvious fact. Rather than acknowledging her academic shortcomings and accepting that she did not, in fact, deserve a spot at UT, she instead initiated a lawsuit against the state's flagship university, ridiculously claiming that, despite her complete and total lack of qualifications, she nonetheless deserved admission based on... well, the color of her skin, it would seem.
Of course, the conservatives on the Supreme Court, led by the execrable Samuel Alito, decried the majority ruling, submitting a dissent so full of factual errors and racist conclusions that it is obvious that they did not spend a moment worrying about the specifics of this case, choosing instead to use the case as a hill upon which to make another ill-considered stand in defense of white supremacy. Alito, the bigot who wrote in college that "people nowadays just don’t seem to know their place. Everywhere one turns, blacks and Hispanics are demanding jobs simply because they’re black and Hispanic. The physically handicapped are trying to gain equal representation in professional sports. And homosexuals are demanding the government vouchsafe them the right to bear children.”
Yes. A man with opinions like this is allowed to sit on the Supreme Court and determine the future course of the country. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.
Fortunately, four of the seven justices who heard this case decided rationally, determining that race can be a factor in the lengthy and complicated admissions process. If you're confused, please read that again. Race is one of many, many factors that admissions officers may use when offering admission to applicants.
Is there anyone out there... Allow me to rephrase. Is there anyone out there who is not an open and ignorant bigot who does not believe that an integral part of the learning and maturation process is learning about and from people who come from different backgrounds and circumstances than you? Offering a diverse campus is an important obligation of every college admissions board, and it's one that they'll be able to continue to pursue, thanks to the four justices who ignored Abigail Fisher's racist claims about what she deserved based on her white skin.
Fisher, as is well-documented, possessed neither the test scores nor the grades to earn admission to UT, but she was undeterred by this obvious fact. Rather than acknowledging her academic shortcomings and accepting that she did not, in fact, deserve a spot at UT, she instead initiated a lawsuit against the state's flagship university, ridiculously claiming that, despite her complete and total lack of qualifications, she nonetheless deserved admission based on... well, the color of her skin, it would seem.
Of course, the conservatives on the Supreme Court, led by the execrable Samuel Alito, decried the majority ruling, submitting a dissent so full of factual errors and racist conclusions that it is obvious that they did not spend a moment worrying about the specifics of this case, choosing instead to use the case as a hill upon which to make another ill-considered stand in defense of white supremacy. Alito, the bigot who wrote in college that "people nowadays just don’t seem to know their place. Everywhere one turns, blacks and Hispanics are demanding jobs simply because they’re black and Hispanic. The physically handicapped are trying to gain equal representation in professional sports. And homosexuals are demanding the government vouchsafe them the right to bear children.”
Yes. A man with opinions like this is allowed to sit on the Supreme Court and determine the future course of the country. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.
Fortunately, four of the seven justices who heard this case decided rationally, determining that race can be a factor in the lengthy and complicated admissions process. If you're confused, please read that again. Race is one of many, many factors that admissions officers may use when offering admission to applicants.
Is there anyone out there... Allow me to rephrase. Is there anyone out there who is not an open and ignorant bigot who does not believe that an integral part of the learning and maturation process is learning about and from people who come from different backgrounds and circumstances than you? Offering a diverse campus is an important obligation of every college admissions board, and it's one that they'll be able to continue to pursue, thanks to the four justices who ignored Abigail Fisher's racist claims about what she deserved based on her white skin.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
John Oliver is a Treasure
If you don't watch Last Week Tonight, the brilliant HBO comedy-news program starring John Oliver, you should. If you do watch Last Week Tonight, you should know how lucky you are.
In this past episode, after detailing the dirty and corrupt way that banks sell people's debts to private firms, many of whom routinely employ odious collection tactics against their victims, John Oliver let us in on a beautiful and meaningful skit. He was able to purchase fifteen million dollars of debt for only $60,000, all of which he proceeded to forgive. That's right: the people who owed that fifteen million dollars no longer owe it.
Just like that, John Oliver has made many people's lives better than they were before his show aired. And that, my friends, is the textbook definition of doing good in the world.
In this past episode, after detailing the dirty and corrupt way that banks sell people's debts to private firms, many of whom routinely employ odious collection tactics against their victims, John Oliver let us in on a beautiful and meaningful skit. He was able to purchase fifteen million dollars of debt for only $60,000, all of which he proceeded to forgive. That's right: the people who owed that fifteen million dollars no longer owe it.
Just like that, John Oliver has made many people's lives better than they were before his show aired. And that, my friends, is the textbook definition of doing good in the world.
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