The LHC Rap :Understanding Higgs' Boson

Okay. In case you haven't noticed by now, I am a huge nerd. As such, I am sharing this brilliant song and video with you. Scientists at CERN attempt to explain the Higgs' Boson through rapping and bad dancing. If you aren't yet familiar with either CERN or the Higgs' Boson, spend a few minutes and do some minimal research on it. These are the huge mysteries of existence and deserve as much time as we spend keeping up with the Kardashians.

Christian Professor Suspended for Not Caving to Unholy Trinity of Bigotry, Fear, and Ignorance

Dr. Larycia Alaine Hawkins is an associate professor of political science at Wheaton College, a private Evangelical school located just west of Chicago that is consistently on the wrong side of social and political issues. As a courageous response to the growing climate of fear and hatred that Muslims in America are facing, she decided that she would wear a hijab during the month of Advent, explaining that her decision to do so was intended as a gesture of solidarity with a minority that is increasingly under threat.

Dr. Hawkins took to Facebook last week to explain her actions. “I don’t love my Muslim neighbor because s/he is American. I love my Muslim neighbor because s/he deserves love by virtue of her/his human dignity. I stand in religious solidarity with Muslims because they, like me, a Christian, are people of the book. And as Pope Francis stated last week, we worship the same God.”

The administrators at Wheaton College, not wanting to miss an opportunity to demonstrate to the world that they are, in fact, among the worst and most ignorant Christians in the country, responded by placing her on administrative leave. In defense of their action, they pointed to “significant questions regarding the theological implications of statements… Hawkins has made about the relationship of Christianity to Islam.”

Ignorance of Christianity, Islam, or both are the only reasons that one might harbor "significant questions" regarding Dr. Hawkins' claims "about the relationship of Christianity to Islam." Except among theological extremists on both sides, this is a settled question. Jews, Christians, and Muslims all worship the same God.

Period.

Full stop.

I'm dreading to see why Wheaton College makes the news next time.

Aren't You a Little Young For That?

"Daddy, I like cocks," announced my three-year-old.

"What?" I replied, spinning around in shock.

She turned her book so that I could see a picture of a peacock. "I like cocks," she repeated. "They're so beautiful."

"Peacocks, honey," I corrected. "You like peacocks."

"Yeah," she agreed, turning her attention back to her book. "I like peacocks."

An Honest Self-Diagnosis

"I think I'm allergic to my boogers."

- my four-year-old daughter

On the True Meaning of Altruism

Several weeks ago, an armed moron by the name of Tatiana Duva-Rodriguez fired several shots from her 9-milimeter handgun at an SUV that was fleeing a Home Depot. The armed moron believed that the people inside of the SUV had just stolen something from the store, and thus felt justified in discharging her weapon in a crowded parking lot. She was just sentenced to 18 months probation and has had her concealed carry permit revoked until at least 2023.

When asked about the court case, she replied, “I tried to help. And I learned my lesson that I will never help anybody again.”

And, in the process, proved to the world that she is, indeed, a moron.

Feliz Cumpleaños

This might be premature, but it appears that the trial over the ridiculous copyright to the "Happy Birthday" song is over and all concerned parties have signed a settlements of some sort. Of course, it remains to be seen what the settlement is, but for now I will optimistically assume that common sense has won the day and the song has gone over to the public domain.

In Defense of a Billionaire

So, Mark Zuckerberg announces that, in honor of the birth of his daughter, he is planning on donating 99% of his wealth to various charitable causes, and the reaction is... mixed? Acrimonious? Outright hostile?

I am aware that the Internet has granted people the freedom and the space to broadcast all kinds of stupid and deplorable personal opinions, but criticizing somebody for planning on giving away billions of dollars is pretty stupid.

That is all.